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The Year of the Rising Woman

In Feminist Theory, a core component of the LONGING for revolution has to do with the damage that imbalanced power does to everyone, not just women.

That any system that puts some people on top of others, controlling more resources, maintaining more power, calling more shots, is not only harmful to the folks on the bottom, but actually: it is harmful to the people on top, too.

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On Virgins, On Whores: Mary and Merry Christmas

Right now.

I am cozy by a fire in plaid pajamas, meant as a Christmas gift but busted out early by a kind mama who knew I was feeling a little under the weather.

Right now. 

Curled up with a good book and a cup of coffee from an espresso machine so sleek I feel like it may come with a matching vespa.

It’s Christmas Eve.

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For a long time, it was one of my busiest days of the year.

I sang in a church choir, in my sparkliest sparkles, and played Mother Mary in the living Nativity, lovingly staring down into a shining lightbulb in a manger. I was attuned to the divine early on, longing for connections to the universe, to the stars, to God. So enchanted by heaven, and romanced by spirituality.

I wasn’t always in the business of seeking answers, but I was always ready to wrap myself up in the questions.

Right now. 

I feel so much compassion and love for that little holy roller, with her earnest face and her carefully chosen outfits.

And, I think she was on to something.

This life has a magic to it.

We are all on a path with that magic, leaning toward it, leaning away. Trying to make sense of it, or letting it circle around us in mysterious stars that we don’t try to understand, but just receive.

Maybe you believe that that magic comes from holding hands in the dark night, braving the cosmos with someone you love, and that all we have for sure is today, this breath. And it can feel beautiful and holy to feel so small against the backdrop of our mysterious and unfolding universe. That we are small and random. That the galaxy is beautiful and terrifying.

And maybe you see a magic from tradition, from circling up through the ages, near stained glass or under veils or over welcoming dinners every week.

Maybe you believe that we light candles night after night, honoring the dark but piercing it, together, with hope against all the odds.

Maybe you believe that it gets darker and darker, and then a baby is born and everything changes.

I believe in magic. 

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Most of us are familiar with the Christmas story, whether tonight is sacred to us or not.

A stable.

A manger.

An angel.

And a girl who we celebrate as a mother & a virgin, but in the story, when she turns up pregnant and unmarried, is not so popular.

Part of a chain of not-so-popular women in the holy texts of our religious traditions.

This is where it is helpful to mix religious longing with a healthy side of feminist theory.

Mary.

Mother, or Magdalene.

She is either the sacred mother, or the scarlet letter.

A binary we know so, so well.

If you live in the United States in a body that is coded as FEMALE, even if you have not bought into this, some piece of it has most likely bought its way into you.

This is what the feminist scholars call a “double bind.”

We all know we can’t win playing this game.

And that’s when it is helpful to scramble the categories a little.

To feel into a mother Mary who is just a freaked out unwed teenage mother, trusting that her body knows what it is doing. Brave, holy, uncertain — just like us.

And that Mary Magdalene was just a seeker too. Devoted, passionate, longing to touch the sacred — just like us.

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Then, against all the odds, this season can be an invitation to connect with the divinely feminine within.

To place a hand on your belly, or wrap your arms around yourself, and close your eyes, and whisper:

You are good. 

Not for obeying, or attending, or abstaining, or giving the right way.
But just for being.
Just because.

 

A Love Letter to You… from you.

A new year is just around the corner.

New Year’s Eve can be heavy with expectation, sequins can scratch, it can be expensive and chilly and hollow to ring in the new year.

When what we really want is a way to kiss the fresh start that is dawning, to shimmer, to shine.

And every year, resolutions that get made (or broken) can play into one or the other of those feelings. Resolutions can scratch you and scold you: a bigger TO-DO list and Why-aren’t-you-like-this-yet list.

Continue reading “A Love Letter to You… from you.”

how to hibernate

For the first time, I’m thinking of how to take a lesson from winter.

It’s been easy for me to see the beauty of Springtime, as blooms burst up from the ground. Ripening and harvesting in Summer. Autumn, my favorite season, has always felt full of promise and cozy. But for the first time, I’m exploring what it means to be in winter. Where the work happens underground, beneath a blanket of earth and snow, as green seed secrets start plotting their growth spurts. Where the pace of the planet (at least, here in our hemisphere) is one of pausing: snuggling and storing up, preparing, hibernating.

Which is, actually, not the way that America does December.

Which feels, actually, more like: utter chaos!

So, instead of drowning the pressure to charm at parties and give the perfect gift, and consume more than we meant to in almost every direction, and feel zippers getting too tight (or maybe that’s just me?) and travel plans getting too complicated and worries about what will make everyone happy getting too frenzied, what if we…

Got cozy.
Got honest.
Got deep into our winter, making space to soothe and pause and grow, as a year ends and a new one starts to whisper of becoming.

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you’re glowing: crafting self care

What do you need, love?
This is the time to ask.
This is the time in which I’d love to invite you in, to uncover your truest self, your deepest love. To join in the work of creating the world we want to see, together.

Because it is almost December, and it has been a journey.
Because the crisp air and the sharp winds can be soft compared to the voice inside us demanding more, better, faster, happier.

The end of the year makes me think about the beginning.
Continue reading “you’re glowing: crafting self care”